SCHOOL YEAR GOES LIKE (Year-ender Special) | BLOG #005

BLOG #005! Let's start with this tweet

 How about a short introduction?

I entered the school year with excitement. I met so many people from different places. The thing is I wasn't prepared to talk and socialize with them. There were times that I feel awkward. At the first week, it seems that there's an acceptance or a chance to befriend with one another. At first, it's hard for me to choose who I want to befriend with. I realize that it just a matter of fit-in process. So I stay with the group I'm comfortable of (not a group bcoz it just the two of us).

After that was the rising action of my story, misunderstanding, unmatched friendships and betrayal. Even you're a good people can't even be qualified in a certain group of friends. There will always be a basis on the certain circle of friends like on the interest, looks and relations. But it doesn't affect me coz I'm safe with the group I belonged.

I'm looking for connections within our section. Connections that will somehow bind us together. Results in my constant participation in events in MCU. I joined Nutri-Jingle, Sabayang Pagbigkas at Katutubong Sayaw and it always ended up being talo.

"Alam mo kung bakit tayo natatalo, kasi wala naman talagang unity" said by my former friend HAHAHA. I rejected this because I believe we are not lack of something, It's just that we lose bcoz there's someone's better. Hello it's a competition.

"Wala namang masama magmura"

"Sige walwal"

"Nood tayo nun pre"

"Alam kong bastos yon, di ka ba open-minded?"

I'm being corrected by these classmates of mine with the claims of what I know is wrong or right. They let me hear them explaining about this dank world we have. No offense but these people stucked with the concept of being wicked is natural as human and being so innocent and pure is bobo and considered pa as underage level ang pag-iisip.

I'm not settled with my situations kaya sumasama pa ako with the other groups, despite of unfamiliarity. I'm no alien, i'm just telling the truth, there are things that I'm not familiar about. Things that you can't associate with yourself but it's a part of adjusting to the culture.

I fall with some downgrading moments. And some other people will choose not to jive with me because there's nothing interesting about me. Nadala ko yung silence for the 7 remaining months, being numb or pessimistic, and selectively social and ended with only 5 friends including my sister.

Right after, I only focused to my studies. I don't know why I also even fail several times. I know myself better and worked hard for it and didn't even mind to worry about bagsak but the hell came in with 83, 82 and almost 80. I hate safe numbers, not because I expect more to myself but I really deserve much better. Sometimes, di ko na iniisip na I'm being judged as Grade concious kasi all I wanted naman or my intention naman is maging proud ang family ko about sa akin. Because of that, I also envy others' grades.

I receive lots of encouragement from my victory group. "As a Christian, I should know what to do, or the right thing to do. Outside mindset or setbacks of the world may feed us with the wrong mindset but God taught us not to conform with the world." It was very encouraging. I never imagine how this freaking school year loosen up my personal relationship with God. If I continue to focus on the friendship, all the schoolworks or everything that is happening to classroom, It's like I'm feeding myself with being stressful and greed, selfish, tired, and pessimist. It's kinda lost my identity also.

What I really learned about Grade 11 is to be:

1. Be open with the surroundings and never forget to be the light.

2. Don't let people look down on you, be special as you are. Flawsome is awesome.

3. Don't let all the situations ruined your acads and for your relationship w/ others

4. Submit all your works to God, He earned it.

Yes, not the best school year. I guess but still I learned so many things. It's part of growing. In any circumstances, always believe that there's a thing you can do about it.

I realize that I really need to step up my game than regretting the past mistakes and actions. Sometimes I do have to accept past mistakes and actions in order to grow fully with the lessons of life.